August 1, 2008 will be a Solar Eclipse. In general, New Moons are good times for beginning things. This one, an eclipse, has added effects. According to Stephanie Austin, in The Mountain Astrologer, "it signals our readiness for a major shift in direction and priorities." She says in an eclipse the normal flow of solar radiation is interrupted because the Moon blocks the light of the Sun. "Energetic matrices are opened, reorganized, and reconfigured, creating new patterns and pathways."
Austin believes that this eclipse will affect the Pluto in Leo generation (1939 - 1955) and the Uranus in Leo (1955 - 1962), which amounts to millions of people, very strongly, "as it activates their cellular memories of their mission and their fears (Pluto), as well as the need to break from tradition and be an agent of change (Uranus)."
She also says anyone with planetary placements or angles within 5 degrees of the eclipse will feel its evolutionary impulse most directly.
The eclipse is at 9 degrees Leo and therefore is conjunct my natal Pluto, which is at 12 degrees in the 12th house. Over the years, many people have accused me of 'self-sabotage'. Since I have always sought self-knowledge, I have been trying to understrand this and work with it. Generally self-sabotaging behavior is invisible to us and thus hard to control or change. But today I had a clear understanding of an issue I have struggled with all my life. I often feel that I don't get anything done, that I am way behind in my projects and that I live surrounded by 'wasted' talents and resources. Today I realized it is because my mind is over-loaded with inspiration and creative ideas. I struggle with time and space. Never enough time, never enough space. My house is packed. It is very difficult for me to admit I will never get to all the projects, books etc. Even if I did nothing but sew, I'd never be able to make all the garments I have patterns for. Let alone the crocheting, knitting, cross-stitch, etc. It goes on and on. Because I am surrounded by all these reminders of what I have not gotten to, I feel I have accomplished nothing. Since I am working with my North Node in Taurus, I am trying to make slow, but regular prgress. One way I do this is that each day I set some reasonable tasks for myself. At the end of the day, I check the 'to do' list against the 'done' list.
I have so many ideas, goals, plans, projects that no human being alone could get it all done. My mind moves very quickly, coming up with new ideas constantly. I am a natural multi-tasker. In addition, I like being able to do things myself, so, when I decided to get a new website, rather than pay someone else to do it, I had to take Dreamweaver myself. This often leads to tangents that have trajectories of their own. Sometimes, like the person who finds herself in the middle of a room and can't remember why she walked in there, I don't remember why I started out in a direction. To help me 're-trace' my steps, I must go to my garden. Reconnecting with the earth helps me remember what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. Meditation also helps.
The frustration comes when I realize that I come up with more ideas than any human could accomplish on their own in many lifetimes. In addition, now that I'm 60, my body is not as cooperative as it once was. I am tired and achy. I can't do as much as I used to do and it makes me feel depressed and hopeless.
So what is the solution?
Formerly, I would have thought: I should get rid of this all this stuff that I will never get a chance to do; I should curtail my creativity, just focus on a few things, dropping the rest.
Today, under the influence of the Leo eclipse, I realized I could do more if I had a staff including a chef, housekeeper, chaffeur, secretary, gardener.....LOL! Now that is truly a Leo idea. I laughed to myself, but why not? Rather than stop thinking, planning, creating, I need a domestic staff and a company with many employees.
As for understanding our mission, this is a problem we all share. Our soul designs an incarnation, like writing a screenplay, including the supporting characters and situations, so that it can experience something or accomplish something. Then we get here and forget. We spend most of our lives asking why we are here etc. because we have forgotten the 'play' we ourselves wrote.
There is actually a story about this. Recently I was told this is a Jewish folktale, but I'm not sure of that. The story goes that we did all this planning before we were born, including choosing our parents and everything that will happen in our life. Then, when we are born, an angel touches us right above our upper lip, which seals our mouth, and we forget. That little dip right under our nose, is the remnant of the angel's touch. For the rest of our lives we wonder what it's all about. It sounds like this eclipse will give us an opportunity to remember.
At the end of her article, Austin says that the Sabian symbol for this eclipse indicates that a new era is dawning: "Early morning dew sparkles as sunlight floods the field; the exalted feeling that rises within the soul of the individual who has sucessfully passed through the long night which has tested his strenth and his faith." According to Austin, the questions you should be asking yourself are: "What brings you joy? What do you love more than anything else?" She goes on to say "You are the eyes and hands of God. Dream. Dare. Do. Life is waiting to be lived through you. Rmemeber: 'When you don't follow your nature, there is a hole in the universe where you were supposed to be.' (Dane Rudhyar)"
Look at where this eclipse is occuring in your chart. Are there any planets or aspects that might be highlighted? The house where this eclipse is occuring is where you might experience insight and/or change.